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Thursday, March 17, 2011

True Confessions

Tonight I threw out food. But let me back-track first.

Started as any typical Thursday does, with a 6-shot, non-fat latte (hate wasting the shot) and a glass of milk at home. That usually holds me over, but I will admit to being hungry today! I held out though (so stupid-stitious) and didn't eat until I returned from Weight Watchers.

Weigh-in was another week down, so I think I may finally have a grasp of the new program. While I haven't been Miss Foodie at home, I have made healthy choices when I do "grab and go" and while I do eat my activity points, I'm trying not to eat them all (earned over a hundred for the week, between long Sunday runs, hills training and boot camps) and really try not to chip into the weekly allowance at all. I use it when I actually need it. But it was on the walk to WW that tonight's problems started. I have to walk through a food court to get to WW - well, I don't have to, but it's on the +15 level which is how I get to meeting this time of year. Today, just as I walked by, one of the shops pulled out the freshest, yummiest french fries I have ever smelled, EVER!!! OMG, it took all my strength to keep walking (remember, this is before meeting, and therefore before food!) on by. Meeting passes (and oddly enough, topic was about restraint and indulging!) and I head back to the office, still ignoring said fries and picked up my usual salad buffet at Marcello's, along with a container of fresh fruit.

But I could not get those fries out of my mind...ate lunch, thinking about fries. Had a quick meeting, thinking about fries. Finished up a report, thinking about get the picture. Came home, changed and headed off to boot camp, hoping getting my sweat on would help with the whole fry craving.

Nope. Didn't matter that Trainer Josh made most of us cry Uncle tonight...I still wanted fries. Okay, I've been doing this long enough to know that it's no good to eat around the craving. If I am still thinking about it 4+ hours later, then just eat the damn fries already!!! And I also knew I didn't want any mamsy-pamsy baked fries...I wanted the real thing.

So, after a killer boot camp, and on the drive home, I had time to decide where I wanted to get said fries, and therefore dinner. McD's...naw. A&W...nope. Wendy's...not really. For whatever reason, I settled on KFC. I think part of me was thinking "mmmm...chicken is good for you, and I can peel the skin off (hahahahahahahahahaha...sorry, got away from me there). I picked up said mixture of deep-fried "goodness" -fries, side gravy, original recipe, a side of popcorn chicken and their hot wings.

This is where the confession comes in...I got home, I had some of the popcorn (um...where's the 'chicken' exactly???), and a couple of the wings - again, once you manage to get through all the batter and coating, seriously, where's the chicken?! I ate some of the fries, sadly soggy and not the crispy I was looking for and a piece of the original recipe chicken (white meat...that counts, right???). That was almost 3 hours ago, and I still feel like I'm going to hurl!!! So, I stared at all the leftovers for awhile, threw my "starving children" guilt out of my head, and THREW.IT.ALL.AWAY! Walked it down to the dumpster (kind of hoping for one of my usual homeless dudes to wander by, but of course, tonight it's a ghost town!) and threw it away. I feel bad for wasting money and food, but I just could not justify saving it and eating it later. Gagging thinking about it, truth be told.

So, lesson learned time I crave the fries, I will dig deep for this exact feeling here and now and will hold on tight, and make sure I WALK.ON.BY.


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