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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Greet it and eat it...

Emotions, that is. Tonight turned out to be a real roller-coaster, but we'll get into that soon enough.

Slept in a bit this morning (oops) and then about 3 blocks from home I remembered that I left my Garmin plugged in at home. Crap! I wanted it for the steady run this afternoon, so after a moment's hesitation (I was already late, technically), I turned around and grabbed it. I am not a bright bulb first thing in the morning! I decided then and there that I also needed 5 shots today, so swung into Starbucks and filled up. Much better. No scone today though, as I am heading to weigh-in at lunch. I am such a nilly about these things!

The day at work was it's usual mess, which I spent the better part of the day trying to figure out and straighten out. I am an accountant - well, not really, but I analyse data and play with spreadsheets and work in the accounting's easier to say accountant then to say Accounting Coordinator, Installation Services. Anyway, after some hits and misses, and even walking away at lunch before I figured out the piece of the puzzle that was eluding me, I wrapped up the day, happy with everything being in its proper place. I was to meet up with C. from running clinic for our Thursday steady, but she had an appointment that obviously went long. I did wait till 3:50, but then decided to head out (looked and felt like rain). It was far too humid for my liking, but that's good training for Toronto - or at least that's what I tell myself to get it done!

The goal today was an 8km steady, and usually with C., we run quite slow - more for her 'to finish' pace. Today I was on my own, and ran at my pace...which turned into a 7:13/km pace. That's what someone running a 4:35 marathon pace would run. Mmmmmm...interesting! I felt strong at the end, and did get quite a few compliments this week about how strong I look while running (5k race pace on Tuesday and hills yesterday). Met up with H-woman right at the end of my run, as she was on her way to Folk Fest (the island was CRAZY to run through - good thing I'm avoiding it for the rest of the weekend). Quick catch-up session, before I went back into work, grabbed my purse and gear and headed for home.

Dinner was fast and simple - beef and veggie samosas...period. Told you it was simple. But tasty - the shop that makes them is awesome. This is where the evening heads down the track to the loop-de-loop! Picked up Mom and got the hospice where Dad greeted us like this - sideways across his bed, feet on the floor, food on his table, mouth wide open, dead to the world asleep. When we woke him up, his first words were "the book is at the publishers now". Asked if he wanted to sit up, and then tried to move him. For a skinny, skinny man, he is darn heavy! I had to put my back in it, just to get him upright, and he kept slowly sinking back down to the prone position. More confusion out of him - his cell phone was charging, it's Monday night, he ate all his dinner (um, not a bite Dad, sorry, the plate is still full), etc. After about the 5th attempt to sit him up, I finally hunted down the nurse, who was immediately concerned when we also discovered that he hadn't taken his meds, eaten and kept popping in and out of consciousness. Unfortunately, she had another, more serious crisis to run off and deal with (it is a hospice, after all), but the nice, strong, male attendant came in and got Dad into bed properly, and helped him get settled down. We sat a little longer, trying to get him to talk (he would mutter something and then fall asleep again), before we left to get Mom home.

This is where my history of emotional eating jumped right to the front of the line!!! I avoided the fast-food heavy McLeod Trail route home, but I did pull into Safeway near the house. I really did need milk and OJ! After talking myself out of dips, chips, cookies, more baked items, more deli items, I finally "cracked" and brought home a box of Cheerios and some cream. Yes, cream (milk on cereal is gross!). That's not so bad for me, considering I could have inhaled a box of cookies or worse. Of course, it helps that this Safeway is so small (NO Starbucks!!) that they offer a choice of one! So the cookie aisle sucked. God was looking out for me. I had a bowl, and am now satisfied. Still dazed and confused, but satisfied.

I called the hospice to get an update, and although Dad has a fever, the nurse got him talking, and said he was coming around much better and more lucid. Turns out it could be mini-strokes (again, thanks for the phone call weeks ago, when he had one of these "episodes" but it was another nurse that night - sigh), but the doctor will check him out more thoroughly tomorrow. Now, where on earth were the 'transition specialists' tonight??? Think they'd still be so anxious to get rid of him, or is this sick enough for their liking?! But I digress... Assured Mom that he's doing much better now, and we'll go back tomorrow to see what's up.

So despite being up a tad today (.2) at weigh-in (and talking about plateaus the whole meeting) and really wanting to lose myself in sugar, fat and salt, I think I'll survive. Thanks for letting me rant.

Hug your family.


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