Ch-ch-changes

Simple truth about me...I am not a fan of change.  Especially when the change seems to happen out of my control.

I have been sitting on something for a few weeks now, and quite frankly, have been miserable.  Tears (many, many) have been shed, mostly out of true sadness but a lot due to frustration.  But now that it's sort of "official", I can get this off my chest.  There may be more tears shed tonight (oops...already were).  But that's just par for the course.

So what is causing all my angst and despair?  I am losing my Trainer Josh.  Wow...can barely type that out without my eyes welling up again, and throat tightening.  Anyway, due to the glut of boot camps, zumba and other fitness classes, combined with the reality of the economy, the boot camp I have lovingly followed (yes, even while dropping f-bombs, I loved it) for almost 3 years is, well, closing.  I am heartbroken, to say the least.  And at a complete loss as to what I will do after this session ends.  I do know that there will be another 3 week session to get us to Christmas, but it'll only be 3 times a week, and if I want to stick with Trainer Josh (which I do, no question there) will have to be at 6am.  Yes, that said A.M.  You know how I feel about mornings!  But after that, who is going to yell at me to focus, or to get my butt lower??  It's not going to be the same...and I don't like that.  Not one little bit.  I really do love boot camp, and Trainer Josh has a lot to do with that, as he makes it fun.  Not everyone does, and that just causes flashbacks to high school gym and how much I.hated.high.school.gym.  HATED IT.  I fully acknowledge that I do all the hard work, but the payoff was huge, not just in weight and lost inches, but in blowing running PR's out of the water!  And learning things about myself...that I can keep up with "kids" half my age (even passing some of them) and that I still suck at (and strongly dislike) burpees and roll-backs!  I'm not ready to give that up so easily.  I've got four weeks to formulate a plan for 2012.  I know how to do all the exercises, and yes, I can set up some sort of boot camp at home, but it is so not going to be the same.  I just want things to stay the same.  Forever...

Did I mention I hate change?

Later,